


Convergence

by cgf_kat



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I needed therapy over poor Kuron okay, Kuron feels, Kuron is Shiro (Voltron)'s Clone, also have some bonus Shallura, ish, it's not his fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 00:18:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15012557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cgf_kat/pseuds/cgf_kat
Summary: In the astral plane, a lot can happen in a moment. Allura, Shiro, and the remnants of his double meet in the moments it takes to transfer Shiro’s consciousness.





	Convergence

When the battle is over, Shiro rests. He lets his mind drift once again on the waves of the black lion’s consciousness. His friends are safe. Keith made it to them, and Lotor is gone. 

He knows what will come - Keith will tell the others what really became of him, and he will feel their reactions through Black’s connection with the other lions.

There is nothing more for Shiro to do now but wait for it. What happens after that…? He doesn’t know. He and Black have made a strange life of it together. The lion has a sense of humor he never quite picked up on when they were separate, too, which makes for interesting company when he can think clearly. 

He can’t always...think clearly. His human mind wasn’t designed to be in a state like this for so long. Time will pass and he won’t know how much. Black does what she can to keep him grounded. She helps him keep watch over his team. She helps him sort through the bombardment of sensations she deals with - her bonds to the lions, and the other lions and their bonds with their paladins. 

Shiro isn’t ready, when he feels them realize he has been dead for months. For so long his ability to tap into the black lion’s connections has been tenuous at best, but those faint impressions become sudden, heavy weights in his mind - colored bursts of pain like the red one he felt when Keith looked at him in horror, not so long ago. Outside, has it really only been hours since then? 

_ I died, Keith.  _

This is worse than that - a sea of blue and green and yellow and pink washed with the stabbing remnants of Keith’s red. Shiro thought he was ready, but he isn’t. Not to feel them all grieve at once. Not when he feels more connected to them than he has in what seems like a long, long time. 

But it fades, to confusion and curiosity and...hope?

The pink light grows until it blinds him...until Allura is there, reaching out to him, standing on the astral waters with tears in her eyes. 

“Shiro...you’re here. You really are here...”

“Allura...how…? How are you…?”

“I have much more of my father’s alchemic knowledge than I once did. I’ve learned so much…” She trails off and makes a face as if there is a part of that truth she doesn’t care for. “But in any case, the body of the imposter is empty now. I can heal it for you. You can come home, Shiro.”

The idea of leaving here seems so strange he wonders if he might be dreaming - if Allura is even really here, at all - but when he reaches for her she pulls him close, and he doesn’t doubt it anymore. Even here, on this plane, her presence is warmth and light against him. 

He can feel it as they leave the black lion - as Black says goodbye and all but kicks him out with something akin to chuckle. 

_ You’ll miss me _ , Shiro thinks.

_ You’re not going anywhere, silly human. We have more to do. _ But the retort that isn’t really words is laced with fondness. 

And in another flash they are somewhere...else. Another place. Another mind. The waters are choppy rather than calm, and they are not empty. A figure lies on the ground that isn’t really there, eyes closed against the stars that aren’t either. 

Shiro’s chest clenches even though he doesn’t really have one. “Princess...you said this body was empty.”

She blinks at the figure in the distance, and then at him. “I thought it was…”

“How much time do we have before the others worry?” 

“As much as you need...time passes differently in here. Or it can.”

He asks her to stay as he approaches. He knows what he’ll find, but that doesn’t make it easier to see a near mirror-image of himself - slightly different haircut, and his prosthetic arm missing from just under the shoulder, but everything else is the same.

This is...the imposter. The clone. What’s left of the other consciousness. Shiro crouches at its’ side, and...movement. Under the eyelids. A nearly imperceptible wince. 

Shiro’s eyebrows go up. “You’re not gone...are you? You’re hiding.”

The eyes flicker open to stare at nothing, really. Just up. Shiro knows what pain looks like in those eyes...he saw it a thousand times in mirrors when he was alive. This look...this one is guilt. Agony.

“I know what Allura is trying to do,” the copy says. “She’s trying to give you this body...and she should. I don’t deserve it. I...I almost killed all of them...my…” He grimaces. “YOUR team...your family…”

_ The thing that attacked you wasn’t me, _ he told Keith. 

But...it wasn’t this man, either. It wasn’t this person who is, for all intents and purpose, him. This person who is in pain. This person who did everything he could to keep his family safe until that witch took control of him. 

Shiro swallows. “I won’t take this body from you by force.”

A quiet sound from behind him. Allura is still keeping her distance, but she didn’t quite stay where he left her, either. She was close enough to hear that. “Shiro…”

“I won’t,” he repeats, more for her. 

It wouldn’t be right. Not now. Not when he can see those eyes and know this man cares for the others every bit as much as he does.

The other him blinks at that. His eyes refocus on Shiro, confused, and Shiro offers a hand to help him sit up. The offer is tentatively taken. 

“That’s a nice thought,” the other him sighs. “But I’m fading.” He holds up his one remaining hand, and it’s sparkling vaguely around the edges. “I’ll be gone soon enough...maybe my consciousness isn’t sustainable without Haggar’s magic. Maybe she just...doesn’t have any use for me anymore.”

“Maybe Allura could…?”

“Could what? Why?” his double asks, tired. 

Shiro searches his face - and it’s still strange, to be looking into a face that’s his, but it isn’t. “You didn’t want to hurt them. That was her...not you. You...you love them as much as I do.”

He’s known it, really. If the black lion hadn’t been able to see that love in this man - that good - she never would have allowed him to pilot her. So Shiro had seen it too. It had still been necessary to warn the others, because they’d known the clone’s relative autonomy couldn’t last forever, but...

His double looks away. “They’re not mine...they never were.”

“That doesn’t mean you deserve die.”

A harsh laugh. “That makes one of us who thinks so.”

“You took care of them for me,” Shiro says gently. “How is that worthy of anything but thanks?”

He didn’t choose to be a clone. He didn’t know he was. He didn’t choose to be used by Haggar. He didn’t choose to be dying now. And if thanking him is all Shiro can do, he’s going to do it. 

His double’s shoulders start to shake. “I also...betrayed Allura’s trust...sided with Lotor...yelled at Lance… _ and  _ Keith, for that matter...things you would never have done. And that was  _ before  _ the witch took over...” He shakes his head. “I-I knew something was wrong and I...I should have tried harder to figure it out… _ something _ .”

Shiro winces and reaches out tentatively, to place a hand on his double’s shoulder. “I think maybe you didn’t because you’re a little too much like me. A little TOO stubborn, maybe. That’s all me, if I’m honest with myself. And...I can’t say I never would have lost my temper. If your version of my memories makes you think I wouldn’t have, you’ve got another thing coming.” 

He tries to laugh, to lighten the mood. The other him just stares for a moment before he finally cracks half a smile and mutters something about Slav. 

The mood is darkened again when he groans, and his form flickers. Shiro keeps a steadying grip on his shoulder, and the flickering stops after a moment. But he seems even more transparent after that. 

“There isn’t much time…” he says. 

“I’m sorry,” Shiro sighs. “You didn’t deserve any of this.”

How would he feel? If it were him fading? His non-existent stomach twists again.

“Ask them to teach you that fantasy game,” his double says, managing a smile once more. “I’m sure Coran knows enough about it to run a game even if he didn’t manage to pack the book. And he could probably make a board out of anything.”

“Oh, he packed the book,” Allura assures them, taking a few steps closer again. “Do you KNOW how many games of Monsters and Mana he dragged my father and the other paladins of old into when I was young?”

She is smiling, but Shiro can see the sorrow that lies behind it. Does she understand, too? Does she feel the same sympathy? She must, and of course she would; compassion is in her nature. This isn’t like Lotor. Lotor had choices, and he made the wrong ones. This man had no choices, in the end. Maybe it’s a relief, for her, to not have to hate someone else. There has been enough hate, and fear, and grief. 

“I’ll have to do that,” Shiro agrees. 

So much time...months. And he missed it. It hurts...but it only makes him more grateful to his double for being there for his friends however he could be.

The other him nods. “Just…” He shakes his head. “Nevermind.” He makes a small sound as he fades farther, but Shiro doesn’t let go. He won’t. Not until the end.

“I won’t let them forget you,” Shiro tells him.

“No,” his double answers quickly. “You...you should let them If they want to. I wouldn’t blame them...let them do what’s easiest for them. Please. I…it’s all right. Don’t make it harder for them.”

Shiro can see how much it pains him to say that...he knows how much it would hurt to say it himself. He’s known, for months, what it’s like to be forgotten, in a way. His friends thought they had him back. They weren’t looking. He never blamed them for it, but it hurt just the same. 

But he respects the request. 

“ _ I _ won’t forget you,” he amends quietly. “I promise you that.”

“Neither will I,” Allura says. She closes the last of the distance and kneels beside Shiro - beside both of them. Shiro is pretty sure they’re all surprised when she lurches forward to embrace his fading counterpart. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers.

It takes a moment, but Shiro’s double returns the embrace with the arm he has. “Thank you…”

Shiro watches the way he looks at her, when she sits back on her heels. Does he look at Allura like that, too?

“There may be a way…” Allura says, slowly, “to keep from losing you entirely. If Shiro would be willing, that is.” She glances back at him even as she continues speaking to his double. “I may be able to help ensure that at least some of your memories remain for him.”

The answer from the other him is quick, strained. “But not the ones of —”

“No,” Allura says. “Ideally not. But it is Shiro’s choice whether I should make the attempt.”

“What would it be like?” Shiro asks.

“I...I cannot say. I am not even certain if it would work. But I can try.”

“You don’t have to,” Shiro’s double says immediately. He looks at Shiro. “I-It’s all right...they’ll have you.”

“I know...but…” 

This other man doesn’t deserve to be swept under the rug. If there is a way to hold onto a part of him - even if it’s only some of the memories their friends thought they made with him, anyway - then isn’t it worth trying?

“I want to.”

His double winces. “You still might get some of the things I wish weren’t there.”

Shiro cocks his head a little. “Maybe...but we all have regrets. I’m no different.”

Allura smiles a bit. “Neither am I...and as Shiro said before, if anything your flaws only prove that you are more than simply a copy...and you always were.”

A quiet sob. Allura seems mildly surprised when the other Shiro cries - that there can be tears here. Shiro isn’t surprised by that. In his time in the black lion’s consciousness he shed many, many tears...even if they weren’t real, they felt as if they were.

Allura leans forward again, to kiss the other man’s cheek gently. Shiro squeezes his shoulder. He is fading more quickly now. 

“Take care of them,” he says earnestly. 

“I will…”

Allura places a hand on each of their chests. “Are you ready?”

After their nods, a blinding light. Shiro can make out a smile through the brightness - his own face...at peace. 

But when the light dies away he and Allura are alone. 

Shiro’s gaze snaps around them, but Allura presses her hand into his chest more firmly. “He is here,” she says. “You may not have access to the memories yet...likely not until you wake. The real convergence will take place then, if it works.”

Shiro casts a sorrowful look over the place where his double had been. He brings a hand up to close around Allura’s against his chest. “Oh…” He swallows. “Thank you...for doing that. For everything.” 

Allura squeezes his hand in response. They sit for a while, maybe just to remember the consciousness that is gone.

“I feel as if I should be mourning,” Allura says after the long silence. “But I don’t know whether I should be doing it more for him, or for having lost you so long ago without knowing it.”

Shiro shakes his head. “Don’t...I don’t think either of us wants that.”

“Between you and me, or…”

“Between me and...me. Or I guess it’s only me now. Or it will be,” Shiro sighs. He quirks half of a smile in embarrassed confusion. 

“Are you afraid?” Allura asks.

“Yes,” he admits. “Is it strange that I’m almost afraid I’ll mess up...living again? In general?”

“Not at all,” Allura answers. It’s almost a laugh. “I believe we all feel like that at times...and you’re out of practice,” she teases. 

Shiro laughs. “I guess so.”

“We should go…” she says. “The others are waiting.” She doesn’t look like she wants to go.

He isn’t sure he wants this moment to end, either. He brings a hand up to her cheek. “You said...time didn’t have to pass normally here?”

“No...it’s only been a moment. I’ve only just begun to transfer your consciousness.”

He looks at her, and he thinks the convergence has begun already. He can see flashes some of the things the other him spoke of...the times he and Allura were at odds, and how much it hurt him. But not just pain. He can feel the better moments, too. That ridiculous, wonderful game. Laughing behind the scenes of the Voltron Show when they needed a break from being frustrated over the insanity that it was. Other moments shared that Shiro didn’t have before. 

“Do we have more time?” he asks, breathless. Why is he breathless? He doesn’t need air here.

Allura smiles.


End file.
